Jill Schramm/MDN Edna Sailor, author of “Alfalfa Girl: The Path from Childhood Molestation to Soul” holds the published book that set her on a path toward healing and led to her efforts to educate others about childhood sexual abuse.

When we are well enough to tell our stories, we can support and educate others, says Edna Sailor, a childhood sexual abuse survivor.

As a volunteer representative for the National Association of Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse, Sailor seeks to bring information to those who want to learn more about childhood abuse and how to recognize and prevent it.

Her book, “Alfalfa Girl: The Path from Childhood Molestation to Soul,” released in 2018.

“The book is actually my story,” Sailor said. “I am Alfalfa Girl. She would run to the alfalfa field and just make a little nest and lay down in there and cry and scream and survive.”

Although the book reflects her story, she noted it is fiction and is broader than her personal experience.

“Every single event in this book is somebody’s true story,” she said. “It’s my way of honoring the other people who are out there, who are victims and survivors, and to honor Alfalfa Girl.”

The public discussion about sexual abuse that surrounded the 2016 presidential race triggered a post-traumatic stress response for Sailor. She had been molested by five different perpetrators before the age of 12, all either family members or people known to her family.

When she called a counselor friend to ask how to cope, her friend told her to write.

“The book has allowed me to reach a level of healing that I don’t know if I would have accomplished had I not written this,” Sailor said. Some of the words in her book reflect crafted writing while other words just poured out from a secret place she hadn’t been aware existed.

“There’s a line in here that says, ‘and she hid right there in plain sight. And she would do that for the rest of her life.’ That is my story,” Sailor said.

No two victims of childhood sexual abuse are on the same journey, she said, but secrecy for many years is common.

“I’m 72 years old right now, and I have never told my story until this time. Ninety percent of all victims and survivors do not tell their stories until much later in life,” she said.

As society encourages people to tell their stories, more people have come forward, Sailor said.

“Child molestation is pandemic. When I wrote this book, that statistic, was one in four girls and one in six boys,” she said. “We have new data. Now it’s worse. It’s one in three girls and one in five boys.”

Sailor’s background as an educator moved her to consider offering workshops for the general public to provide information related to sexual abuse. Victims should be able to tell their stories without shame or blame, she said, and education can help bring that about.

“I would like to see us create an environment where grownups listen to what children say – that grownups hear these stories, that we have enough education out there that the parent sees something that’s not right with a predator,” she said. “I want families to have have enough knowledge so that they can protect those kids.”

Her research into childhood sexual abuse found studies showing a child’s brain changes once molested. The brain becomes fear-driven, seeing danger where it doesn’t exist. The brain also projects a negative self image, she said.

Sailor said she underwent therapy at various times in her past, which helped her over bumps in life generated by her victimization but never brought full healing.

“I hated Alfalfa Girl most of my life,” she said. “She shouldn’t go to Sunday school because Jesus wouldn’t want dirty, filthy little girls in his church.”

But at her counselor’s suggestion, she wrote a letter to her Alfalfa Girl – an action that takes place in the book as well.

“This is the most healing part of the book,” she said. In the letter, she apologizes to Alfalfa Girl and tells her that she is safe, brave and good and promises to love her forever.

The book’s story ends with Alfalfa Girl enrolling at Minot State University, as Sailor had done.

“Minot State University is beloved to me,” she said. “It was the point where I stopped hiding in plain sight and started to rebuild. My time at Minot State was absolutely key to my survival.”

Sailor holds education degrees in English, communication arts and French from MSU and has a master’s degree in adult and community education from North Dakota State University. She has held a variety of positions in education, administration and public relations and raised three children. She is a published freelance writer and newspaper reporter, currently working for BHG newspapers in New Town and Parshall.

Sailor offers workshops upon request and is to be guest speaker at the Take Back the Night event being rescheduled at MSU. She doesn’t charge for workshop attendance.

“I’m in a different place now,” she said of her healing. “For me, right now, it’s all about spreading hope, facilitating a process for hope. It’s all about that now for me. I want for people and families to see that there is hope.”

Her book is available at Main Street Books in Minot, online at major booksellers or through the website of the publisher, Xlibris. People also can contact Sailor at byedna@gmail.com.

(Prairie Profile is a weekly feature profiling interesting people in our region. We welcome suggestions from our readers. Call Regional Editor Eloise Ogden at 857-1944 or call 1-800-735-3229. You also can send email suggestions to eogden@minotdailynews.com.)