MINOT AIR FORCE BASE, N.D. — While we celebrate romantic relationships with Valentine’s Day in the month of February, it’s also a great time to think about the health of all our relationships. What makes for a healthy relationship, whether with a significant other, or with family or friends?

Communication:

– Good communication includes mindful listening and maintaining an open mind to what others are sharing with you.

– Express your thoughts and feelings honestly, while making sure to avoid interrupting. Inevitably, sometimes there will be disagreements.

– Avoid raising voices or seeking to place blame, as both are unlikely to lead to agreement, and may cause permanent harm to the relationship. Use “I” statements to express yourself, rather “you” statements, to assist in preventing placement of blame (e.g. “I feel …,” rather than “You did …”).

– If emotions run high, pausing the conversation and coming back when emotions have cooled is often the best approach.

Strong relationships are built on trust. Trust is developed over time by being honest with others and keeping your word.

When you provide information about yourself or anything else, make sure to speak truthfully.

When you promise something, deliver on it. Likewise, do not make promises you cannot or will not keep, just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation at the time.

New relationships can be exciting, and lead to over-asking or exhausting others when spending time or making other requests exceed the other person’s capacity.

Similarly, longstanding relationships can lead to implicit or explicit expectations of what friends or romantic partners will do for one another, that may similarly exceed a person’s capacity at a given time.

Tapping back into the need for communication, make sure to communicate your boundaries and respect the boundaries of others when they are communicated to you.

Healthy relationships do not involve any type of abuse such as:

– Verbal abuse (demeaning language)

– Emotional abuse (frightening or manipulation)

– Physical abuse (striking, slapping, strangulation)

– Sexual abuse (unwanted sexual contact)

If you need help regarding a relationship with an intimate partner where these behaviors are occurring, use your local resources.