Recently, a mom, apparently overwhelmed by her husband’s job challenges, three young children, and financial struggles, asked me if there were things that I liked about being alone!

Well, I don’t miss rushing home when I wasn’t done with appointments and errands because I needed to prepare lunch. I was frustrated, realizing that I could have planned better or prepared something in advance. However, I also knew that he often had headaches if he didn’t eat regularly. More importantly, I knew that he didn’t like being alone. He found love in my presence and because I loved him too, I wanted to give him that.

However, I do miss surprising him with a special meal or dessert, sharing a joke or a piece of music. I miss hearing and seeing him laugh heartily over something I shared. I miss planning trips or projects that would be enjoyable and/or add to the usefulness of our home.

I miss having him come downstairs after he had completed his work for the day and sit at the piano and play for a while. He always ended with my favorite classical song; Moonlight Sonata. I would bake cookies, fold laundry, embroider or knit while he played. Then we might make hot chocolate and watch a movie or play a game together. There are no games now, and it’s really quiet. I can make hot chocolate and watch a movie but it’s not the same as sitting next to the one I knew had my back.

Since he could do almost anything…except cook…I have had to make lots of decisions. Who do I ask to do tax preparation, make insurance decisions, solve electrical problems, replace a broken sink or fix the shingles that blew off the roof? Many have helped but sometimes it’s hard to ask.

I miss being told that I’m loved and cherished by the look in his eyes and the smile on his face. I miss holding his hand while we sit at a concert. I miss having him open the car door for me.

I need a hug but there’s no one to give me one. I miss crawling into bed next to him as we share the stresses and joys of the day. Recently, I put a soft blanket folded the long way, down the middle of the bed so it doesn’t feel so empty. Actually, he tended to use 2/3 of the bed! I miss lying down next to him with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder taking an afternoon nap. I miss praying together every day…that was our common ground.

After 10 or 30 or 51 years of “together,” there are some things that are empty alone. Yes, I go out to do things with others, but I always come home with no one with whom I can share the event.

I’ve concluded that being alone can certainly be nice sometimes, but when “sometimes” becomes “all the time,” it’s not nearly as full or satisfying in the long run as “alone” might seem for a day or two.

Yet, I am learning that God is my Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides, because He has shown up often during the last 51 months. Occasionally, God burst into my life through a surprising kindness from others. Sometimes, He whispered in my ear reminding me of His love and care. Sometimes the hug of a grandchild or friend’s child at church filled my cup. As God provides, I need to immerse myself in an attitude of thankfulness. To those reading this who are also walking through the loss of a spouse, child, close relative, friend or major material loss, we are not alone. God is enough.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever,” (Psalm 73:26 NIV).

Author of a second book, “Journeys in Faith, Pursing Obedience,” containing more than 50 additional devotionals written for The Minot Daily News.