During this year’s National Family Caregivers Month, a North Dakotan says her experience highlights the emotional toll of doing everything a person can for a loved one facing a serious health issue.

New data from AARP says more than 140,000 North Dakota adults provide largely unpaid care to older parents, spouses, and others close to them. The group says the work is often done with a limited amount of helping hands.

AARP Volunteer and Bismarck resident Barbara Handy-Marchello stepped up as a caregiver twice in recent years – for her late mother and her late husband.

Her husband Marty had both dementia and cancer. She said there were moments when specific needs or tasks required a lot of effort.

“Every step has its own obstacles,” said Handy-Marchello, “and you have to find a way to overcome those, and it’s complicated.”

She had the responsibility of asking all the cancer treatment questions and explaining the answers to her husband.

Handy-Marchello said there were periods where she could lean on outside help, but because some of this played out during the pandemic, the couple was isolated for a time.

AARP predicts that with an aging population, these demands will keep growing, prompting more attention from policymakers.

Handy-Marchello said she was retired by the time she was fully caring for her husband, and thanks to some careful financial planning, they were able to withstand extra expenses.

But she said not all family caregivers are as fortunate, especially those who have to weigh their job needs and whether to hire trained support.

“For people who are working full time and who need that income to pay for the cost of caregiving,” said Handy-Marchello, “there’s just an extra level of pressure.”

Handy-Marchello said a dilemma for her was at first knowing where to turn to. She said her county health department was very responsive, presenting her with resource options.

Policywise, AARP has secured some wins in the North Dakota Legislature to enhance family caregiver support. But more broadly, there’s still a push for a federal tax credit. It has bipartisan support, but it’s unclear if other Congressional needs will slow down debate.