RETIREMENT’S COMIC RELIEF: Navigating political conversations isn’t easy
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Whenever an election draws close, expressing political opinions, perhaps tainted with television commentator-styled rhetoric, can lead to tense conversations between friends or family. Exchanges have potential to become heated compared with those during non-election times.
An event that occurred during 1984 deserves remembering -- when Walter Mondale utilized considerable finesse as he campaigned during his challenge of Ronald Reagan's second term reelection run. Reagan had twice visited Bethesda Hospital for removal of several cancerous lesions from his face and nose. At some point during the campaign, Mondale’s strategy included accusing Reagan of lying about a disputed issue. When a reporter asked on what basis he backed up his accusation, Mondale replied, “If he is telling the truth, then why do they keep cutting off the end of his nose?”
Differing political views between friends or family can hamper relationships or even trigger substantial marital conflict. The legendary feud between the Hatfields and McCoys had a political component influenced by the fact that Hatfields fought for the Union, while the McCoys mostly sympathized with Confederates. Fuel was added to feudal flames when Asa Harmon McCoy (who fought for the Union) was murdered by a Confederate band of guerrillas upon his return home from the war.
During 1880, Johnson “Johnse” Hatfield and Roseanna McCoy fell in love and briefly lived together. The relationship came undone when ongoing bitterness as well as land arguments between the families escalated. A bit earlier In 1878, Randolph McCoy accused a Hatfield cousin of stealing one of his hogs. The case went to a local court overseen by a Hatfield preacher who was also the justice of the peace. The final ruling favored the Hatfields, which further angered the McCoys.
A century and a half later, judicial activities have once more become center stage between political parties. Disagreements continue to precipitate political tension within families or among acquaintances who lean in different political directions.
When visiting grandparents decades ago, political topics did not come up over the dinner table as they occasionally did at home. Despite the innocence of youth, I understood Mom’s and Dad's partisan leanings weren't consistent with those of grandparents. It may have been a result of osmosis rather than parental lectures that I understood the delicate nature of political dialogue between family and friends and also with those we don't know.
“United we stand, divided we fall” was a phrase Patrick Henry used in his final public speech during 1799. The expression continues to have application to American lives today. Although offering different opinions during business, domestic or civil circumstances has potential to discover better outcomes, disparaging personal comments risk dividing friends or family.
While accepting his party's nomination June 16, 1858, Lincoln delivered his famed “a house divided cannot stand” speech in Springfield, Illinois. A different iconic phrase "e pluribis unum" was chosen by Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams in 1776 to be displayed on our country's Great Seal. It is likewise stamped on most coins and paper money. The Latin phrase translates into a promise for the future by remembering we are "one through many."
Unanimity of opinion related to all political matters is not essential. But maintaining civil communications in addition to acceptance of yet one more phrase learned early in life can be beneficial to both country and personal relationships... "the majority rules."
With hope to maintain positive connection with friends and avoid family feuds, I'll be cautious whenever political discussions spring up, maintaining open ears and a mouth properly muzzled. If by chance I utter something judged as untruthful, I'll have an excuse. After all, my own schnoz has been sawed-off more than once -- and for the same reasons as Ronald Reagan's. Perhaps any foolish comments I might utter can also be disregarded as influenced by The Pinocchio Effect.
Sommers is a retired Minot orthodontist, violinist with the Minot Symphony and author of the book, "Retirement? You Can't HANDLE the Truth!"