Relaxing in my favorite chair recently, Rita handed me a publication to which she subscribes and said, “I thought you might find the article titled “The True Gentleman” of interest.

Written by Alexander Green, Chief Strategist for a national Investment club, the work brought to light elements offered by a twice divorced woman armed with a Sears & Roebuck-length laundry list of personal characteristics to avoid when selecting a husband. Her advice included sidestepping “any man who sends birthday cards to his ex-girlfriends… whose plants are all dead… whom your mother doesn’t like… who notices all your faults but not his own.” One might speculate she threw darts to find her first two husbands and things didn’t work out. I read further.

The column next focused on a Priest who told women he counseled to avoid any man “that is irresponsible with finances or has no sense of humor.” Being modest and devoid of such faults myself, whatever message Rita was hoping to deliver was still unclear until I recalled what happened in the summer of 2016 during our lake association’s meeting and picnic.

The annual gathering is a chance to meet other cabin owners and identify common concerns needing attention. The president called the meeting to order then announced, “It looks like we need a new treasurer. Who’d like to volunteer?” I pulled my cap down and stared at the ground. “Come on,” he repeated. “Who will volunteer?” Lockjaw was rampant. “Well, without any volunteer, would anyone care to offer a nomination?” I tugged my cap down further and pretended to be asleep.

When the third request for nominations came, Rita piped up, “I nominate Dennis Sommers. I don’t know anyone tighter with a dollar bill than he is.” Someone seconded and another moved nominations cease. I’ve been stuck with the job ever since. Rita’s explanation of my qualifications might have originated with the Nifty Needle and Thread set I thoughtfully gave her for Christmas the year we were married so she could darn holes in her socks. There was that… in addition to the used parka I found the following year at the thrift store that has kept her plenty warm during winters when the thermostat is set at 65 degrees.

Alexander Green’s article continued with a contrasting strategy of what women should seek rather than avoid in search of a husband. Comments in this section of the column were originally penned by John Walter Wayland in 1899 – and focused on the honor and virtues of The True Gentleman…

“The True gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feeling of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue is safe.”

One couldn’t help but wonder — why save the newsletter for an entire year before sharing it with me? Then, I figured it out. I can take a hint. John Walter Wayland was right… a gentleman always thinks of the feelings of others with sincerity and sympathy.

After reading the column, Christmas will be different at our house this year. I’ve located a second-hand space heater for Rita to use while doing the laundry and will track down a new darning egg to cheer her up while mending socks over the holidays. Santa is always the True Gentleman.