You've heard of the Thrilla in Manilla.
Now let me introduce you to the Havoc at Hammond.
That's the title that I've tentatively given the media doubles super match today at Hammond Park during the Minot Tennis Block Party.
In this corner, the doubles team of myself and ace announcer/sometimes sportswriter Larry McFall (feel free to applaud or cheer).
In this corner, KXMC morning man Perry Olson and his partner in crime, KX weather guy Joe Goldade (boos and jeers).
The match will be part of the Minot Tennis Block Party. The day kicks off at 4 p.m. when Bishop Ryan and Minot High tangle in a warmup for the West Region Tournament, which starts Thursday in Minot.
There will be a barbeque followed by all sorts of fun and tennis games for players of all ages and skill levels. Racquets will be provided for anyone who doesn't have one. Local high school players will be on hand to work with younger players on their games so it should be a fun time.
But it won't be a fun time for the doubles team of Olson and Goldade.
In his heyday on the tennis court, McFall was like Bjorn Borg reincarnated. Well he wasn't quite like Bjorn Borg, but he had the mullet and the FILA gear. Actually he still has the mullet and the FILA gear. In fact, McFall had planned on jumping back into his vintage FILA outfit for the match, but he said it the shorts were a 32 waist. No further explanation needed.
Actually, about 30 years ago McFall was a college player at Minot State and was one match away from qualifying for the NAIA doubles tournament with MSU hall-of-famer Mark Guy.
But that was 30 years ago. Sunday, McFall and I joined Guy for a practice session at Hammond. Let's just say early on, the only national qualifying mark in jeapordy was for the most times hitting into the bottom of the net.
But we started to get warmed up and there was a glimpse of the old players that used to patrol the local courts.
Speaking of tennis players well past their prime, I would qualify under that definition as well.
Like McFall, I was a slave to the tennis fashion of the day when I was at Minot High. But instead of rocking Borg's crispy white uniform and headband I was part of the Agassi era.
We wore denim shorts, and if you thought you were really cool, you had a pair of the jean shorts with fluorescent spandex shorts built in underneath them.
Unfortunately, I thought I was that cool.
Never had the Agassi spikey mullet, but if I could have pulled it off, I would have tried.
Olson was an outstanding solid player in his day. He won a state doubles title for Minot High School in 1999, but he told me Monday he hadn't picked up a racquet in years.
So if you have the hankering for watching some has-beens in action, the Havoc at Hammond is scheduled to get started some time between 5:30 and 6 p.m. And if you don't want to watch old washed up players (and really, why would anybody?), just come out and play some yourself. After cleaning up on the TV guys, I'm willing to take on all comers.
(Chris Bieri is the Sports Editor at the Minot Daily News. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org)