Quinceanera celebrates girl’s rite of passage
By DAN?FELDNER, Staff Writer, dfeldner@minotdailynews.comArticle Photos
While North Dakota might not be the first place that comes to mind when most people think of cultural melting pots in the United States, two different cultures will come together beautifully today in 15-year-old Kayla Lakoduk's Quinceanera.
Lakoduk's father, Doug, was born in the United States, but her mother, Martha, was born near Aguada, a small town in Puerto Rico. The family moved to North Dakota from Chicago about four and a half years ago. In Puerto Rico and many other Spanish-speaking countries, the Quinceanera is a tradition that goes back generations. It occurs on a girl's 15th birthday and celebrates her rite of passage from being a girl to being a young lady.
Audrey Lakoduk, Kayla's grandmother on her father's side, says this is a completely new experience to her and that she has felt lost at times in its planning, which has more closely resembled a wedding than a birthday party.
"I didn't know what it entailed until all of a sudden we're in the middle of this," she said with a laugh. "A lot of preparation as far as just having the hall and having the proper ... type of dress. Like I say, it's almost like having a wedding, only there's no groom."
Different Spanish cultures have different traditions regarding the Quinceanera. In some cultures, the celebration was used at one time to court boys who could make suitable husbands. Martha says that particular part of tradition is about as far away from Kayla's Quinceanera as it's possible to get.
"The Quinceanera was to present themselves. We take part of the tradition to present our daughter's coming of age. She's growing up, she's presentable, she has more responsibilities, she's not a baby anymore where we hold her hand for everything. But it doesn't mean that we want to marry her off," Martha said. "Nobody has enough chickens in North Dakota for my kid."
Rose Aviles, Martha's sister-in-law who was also born in the same part of Puerto Rico, says the Quinceanera is one of the dreams every little girl has while growing up.
"It's just a Spanish tradition that (is) every little girl's dream. When they turn 15 their parents do this big celebration to present them to the world," Aviles said. "Every girl has pretty much two dreams growing up, and that is their Quinceanera and their wedding. Something where they got to dress up, they got to show everybody they are a young lady, how they have grown, and they have more responsibility."
The Quinceanera might be a tradition that goes back a long way, but Martha recognizes that Spanish culture is only one aspect of her daughter's life. She gave Kayla a choice about how she wanted to celebrate her birthday, something not all mothers are inclined to do.
"Most people say you're going to have your Quinceanera. I gave Kayla the option, And I told her she could do it Spanish, she could do it English, or ... even a debutante ball when she's 18," Martha said. "And she goes, 'No, I want to follow the Spanish traditions."'
Martha said that decision told her Kayla was proud of her Spanish heritage and wanted to explore it more. Rose says keeping your heritage can sometimes be difficult when you come to the United States from a different country.
"When we come into America, you lose a lot of your traditions, so we try to remind the children (of them) a little bit," Rose said. "Things change, but we hope that they keep the small traditions and always remember their roots, where they come from. So it's very important for us."
As for the celebration itself, things will start early for Kayla. She will start at 7 a.m. and have her hair, makeup and nails done while her family gets all of the decorating done. She will then be taken by horse and carriage in the company of her two brothers to the Scandinavian Heritage Center for pictures at noon. Then the horse and carriage will take her all the way to the Holiday Inn Riverside to be presented to her family and friends.
"So there'll be a horse and carriage driving around Broadway all day long," Kayla's father said.
During the celebration, 14 girls who are friends and family of Kayla will join her, one representing each year of her life, while Kayla will make 15. While Kayla is being presented, she will be given a Bible by one of the boys in the ceremony while another presents her with a crown. Kayla's father will also change her shoes from flats to heels because she will then be a young lady.
Kayla's uncle will do a Spanish prayer, after which a minister will do an English prayer. After that, it will be time for everyone to simply enjoy the day. While Spanish music will be provided to entertain everyone, there will also be a rich American tradition on display in the form of a buffet.
Later in the evening, a traditional Spanish meal will be held back at the Lakoduk house for close family.
Martha says there is no way she could have pulled her daughter's Quinceanera off without the help of all her friends and family. Even with years of planning to get ready, it was still a monumental task that saw two different cultures pull together for the sake of a very special day in Kayla's life. About the only decoration that wasn't hand-made by the family was the capia doll that resembles what Kayla looks like in her dress. The dress itself was hand-stitched and came all the way from Texas.
What Kayla's Quinceanera has taught both sides of her family is that their cultures might be different upon first glance, but a closer inspection reveals many more similarities than differences.
"To bring both cultures together was hard in the beginning because (Doug) was so one way and I was so different. But being here in North Dakota, it's not so different after all," Martha said. "You know, family's a big thing in the Hispanic communities - family, family, family, family. But here ... too, I notice it's all about family. But in North Dakota, that's the way it is, is family oriented. So it was very easy to mesh both cultures together."
While the celebration has brought the family closer together than ever, Grandma Audrey noted that differences still remain.
"You see, they came from Chicago. I mean Martha and Doug and the family came four and a half years ago from Chicago to live here," Audrey said. "So, you know, she's a foreigner."
|
Lois11
|
|
|---|---|
|
08-16-08 9:38 AM
|
Where we live in Southern Indiana, there are many Hispanic persons. Many of the girls here have had Quinceanera celcbrations. People here are not as accepting of non caucasion persons. In ND there are so many different cultures and nationalities and people are more accepting of everyone. Nice article
|