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Archie the Cat rules (or terrorizes) my household

October 11, 2012 - Andrea Johnson
Archie the Cat has taken to throwing a feline temper tantrum when the food isn't to his liking.

A few days ago I made the mistake of feeding him canned chicken and liver instead of beef. He turned his nose up in disgust and walked away from the dish with his orange and white tabby tail held high and started howling and whining loud enough to wake the dead. When that didn't produce the desired result he began scratching the chair and then ran to the kitchen when I got up to stop him.

When I went back to working on the computer, he jumped up on the computer desk and knocked the wireless modem to the floor, disconnecting my Internet signal. When I scolded him, he started whining again and ran to the kitchen.

It is hard to ignore a smart, loud and determined cat in an apartment. I gave in and fed him just to get some peace and quiet. I know this reinforced all his bad habits and is a terrible disciplinary practice with cats as well as children, but at least it made him shut up until the next morning.

If Archie had his way, he would be fed canned food three times a day and would have it all to himself. I started feeding the cats the canned food because someone told me it was healthier for them and might cut down on their tendency to vomit after eating the dry food. Unfortunately, Archie likes the canned food so much better that he has become addicted to it.

I took the cats to the vet on Monday and was unsurprised to learn that Archie is more than twice the size of his litter mate, Agatha. Archie weighs in at 18.5 pounds; Agatha is a dainty 8.5 pounds. "He's just a big guy," said the vet tech when I asked her just how fat Archie is. "And he sure is a handsome kitty." Archie purred in agreement.

It's certainly true that Archie is a large cat. If he were human, he'd be the 6 feet 8 inch basketball star and Agatha would be the petite, 5 feet 2 inch ballet dancer. When he stands on his hind legs, Archie is tall enough to reach many things I would rather he could not reach. Behavior wise, he's more Dennis the Menace or Dennis Rodman than Michael Jordan.

Perhaps he's more like his namesake, Archie Goodwin from Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe mysteries. Goodwin was a lover and a fighter and a persistent son of a gun who said he only gave up fighting when the ambulance came. At this rate, though, Archie will be as fat as Nero Wolfe. Maybe I gave him the wrong name.


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Blog Photos

Archie, demanding his favorite flavor of canned food.