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What if Jesus had been a Wall Street banker?

September 2, 2012 - Andrea Johnson
Over at America Magazine, an online Catholic journal, Catholic priest Rev. James Martin has a dead-on parody of what the Gospels might have looked like had Jesus followed the standard line of some of our politicians today.

Instead of miraculously turning the loaves and fishes into a large enough feast to feed a hungry crowd, this Jesus admonishes the hungry hoards for being so poorly prepared. He produces just enough bread and fishes to feed himself and the Disciples and lets the crowd watch "because they needed to be taught a lesson."

When the rich young man approaches and asks Jesus what he should do to get into heaven, Jesus doesn't tell him to sell all his possessions and give them to the poor. Instead, Jesus admires the rich young man and tells him to buy a bigger house in a gated community in Tiberias and to make sure to get a stone countertop for his kitchen. The whole entry can be found at (—id=2&entry—id=5312)

Blogger Rod Dreher over at the American Conservative says it reads like what the Bible would have looked like if Jesus had been a follower of the dead writer and philosopher Ayn Rand. Rand was the author of a couple of very bad books called "Atlas Shrugged" and "The Fountainhead" and the creator of a philosophy called "Objectivism" that is currently very popular with certain leaders in the Republican party and was at one point a favorite of Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan. I freely admit that I detest Ayn Rand and her philosophy and have always considered her morally bankrupt.

That's not to say that I think only some Republicans are guilty of this stunningly selfish mindset. There are certainly Democrats and apolitical types who probably have thoughts along these lines too. Likewise there are Republicans and Democrats alike who do great good and work to help people from all walks of life.

But these are still issues to think about in the months leading up to Presidential election. What do we want our society to look like? What would the real Jesus say if he could come down and advise us on which direction to go?


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