Dad who shot 15-year-old's laptop was out of line

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

The ADHD kid I referred to was more than a little difficult, he was headed for serious, serious trouble, if things hadn't turned around. The mentors that helped to foster him also helped him and his mom and step-dad, grandparents, to all get on the same page, but there were no guns. Nobody needed to get the gun out and start shooting things as a last ditch effort. In addition my daughter had many things and privileges growing up, it never corrupted her. She was respectful to us because we were that way to her. She learned to behave because of reasonable discipline and us not being so overbearing as to cause resentment from her. Having things isn't the issue it's the relationship of the parent and child. Our daughter calls and visits and want's to be involved. She's not saying she won't be there when we're old, and she had everything growing up. She's not disrespectful and spoiled because of things.

Yes, and let's hope her dad can grow up and learn some better parenting skills to help him cope and deal with his daughter more appropriately and still be effective.

It sounds like her dad was trying to be a good father but gave her too much and was trying to give her a reality check but not much less than his actions would do so... I agree that it was wasteful but I believe it was beneficial to the girl in the long-term. It didn't involve her directly in the act of the firing but it did show her it to get it sunk into her head whilst she has time to mature until she gets a new computer.

@OldDog: Your wife probably shacked up with /married you for exactly the same reasons you are trying to try to act like these 'young'uns' are doing in our area. Maybe you should let your much-much-better-half speak for a while now...

Yes having those classes available are great and a good idea. Everyone should have to have them. When I took them years ago it was just girls in them and the boys took shop and ag. But even with that you just skim the surface in actual coping and relating skills. I think what usually happens is if a parent does well it's because they grew up in that environment and just relate well because of their own experience, otherwise a person doesn't know where they're going wrong and they're clueless. Unless they go to school for four years. I wouldn't know what to do with an ADHD child. That's the boy I was referring to earlier. He takes medications and was in a mentoring program. I can't think of it's name. They provide temporary fostering so the child can go stay with others during the worst times to get some space, but are still involved with the parents. The mentoring really had the most effect I think. I'm not sure if there was professional counseling.

Most high school students do end up taking one or more classes that teach parenting, food preparation and budgeting skills. They called it home economics when I was in high school and these days it's Family and Consumer Sciences.

I couldn't believe the judge in Texas or his wife joining in with him. That's the prime example of what I'm talking about. A lot of times kids are judged for what's wrong with them but so often it's about what they're dealing with. Sometimes it's abuse and others it's a parent not knowing what to do and they are ineffective. That's why getting some help with parental skills is so great. It can really make a change. I've seen it.

I watched the video and read the followup. The dad actually seems reasonable and he's not losing it like that judge in Texas did. I don't disagree with him, I just don't know if he had to get as dramatic about it as he did.

The other thing that bothers me is the thought that some truly abusive parent might see it and think that the approval this guy got applies to them when there's a difference between what they're doing and what he did. It might encourage them to go straight into overkill, and maybe we'll start to see a lot of abuse being posted on Youtube for approval.

Ultimately one way or the other, parents are the one's creating the environment for their children. I had a relatively easy child to raise but I realize it can be difficult with some kids. I've seen where it looked like the worst for this one kid's future but through intervention and outside support things turned around. He could have really gone the wrong way. The adults, his mom and grandparents, didn't know any better how to handle him. He grew up and tuned out okay, thankfully.

I tend to hold adults to a higher standard than I do children. I make allowances for the mistakes made by younger people because they don't know better yet.

They do learn and they can be taught, but pulling a power and control trip and humiliating them isn't the way to achieve it. They'll miss the point of the exercise every time and all they'll remember is how you were nasty to them. You might as well have not done it for all the good it will do them or you or anyone.

Do we really want to teach kids that destroying someone else's property is the best way to teach them a lesson? Way to show them how to land in jail one day.

I remember hearing Alec Baldwins rant to his daughter that he left on her answering machine. It was played a lot on TV. He said some pretty awful things to her. Totally disrespectful and mean. He was bitter. He used four letter words. Is he always that way? I can't imagine how that must have been for her. So,is she bitter? Does she say horrible things about him and rant to her friends? Does she say four letter words in reference to him, or dish it right back? Hopefully she doesn't turn out like him and treat others that way. This girl in the laptop situation might be spoiled, I'm on the fence about it. I'm leaning towards...like father like daughter. No parent is perfect but we all affect our kids. They can take after us.

I think the way the parent does the disciplining does make a big difference. It makes me glad I had and have such good parents.

You know, I disciplined and lectured our daughter almost constantly it seems, when she was growing up, but I was reasonable and kind about it and wasn't so harsh that my daughter, now says, that it didn't even seem like discipline. We laugh over it sometimes, over all my "hinting" about what she should be doing. But she did learn that there were boundaries and she's a very kindhearted empathic mature responsible person today. So that's why I'm wondering about the girls bitter comments. It's not just if you discipline but how. There's a saying "Spare the rod and spoil the child", but there's another one that says "If you are too harsh you will crush their spirit".

The dad said the girl's first reaction was to have a crying fit and seeing his video was "a horrible day in her life," but then they talked about it and she's not hurt or traumatized. Hopefully this episode is not typical of either dad or daughter. I think it was a mistake for both of them to air their dirty laundry in public like this and I hope the dad considers getting everyone some counseling to avoid future problems.

You know, I highly doubt that shooting her computer helped that girl to change her attitude of contempt at all. She very likely feels justified in her attitude even more and this just further cemented it. It's too bad that things weren't averted before she got so bitter and it came to all this. I wonder if she's just spoiled or mistreated?

I think the country has gone way overboard prosecuting statutory rape claims, to be honest. A lot of those laws are draconian and don't do anyone much good. But that's another subject entirely. There's nothing to suggest that this kid is anything but a spoiled brat venting on Facebook because she doesn't like doing her chores.

Where have you seen this happen time and time again? In the sensational made up stories on Fox?

Anyway, we went over the teen pregnancy thing. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, up to about 70% of the time teen pregnancies are fathered by grown men who belong in prison for it, along with providing support for the kids they drop in the girls' and by extension, society's lap. An adult has far more responsibility legally than a minor, but we don't want to go after them because it's condoned. Who's creating burdens on society? Also, is that how you think of children? As burdens?

I hope this girl has some time to grow up before she goes out on her own. A lot of times these kids act out in rebellion for the way they are mistreated first by the parent other times it is because they are spoiled. I've seen it in families where a parent will be harsh with one and spoil another and you get problems with both kids. We really don't know one way or another what led up to their problems.

OldDog, you seem to be the one saying she deserves the consequences of her decisions, so why would emancipation be any different? If she chooses to do it, she sinks or swims, but it would be her choice and she'd have to live with the consequences of it. I was just saying that it would probably make both of them happier, since they don't seem to be able to agree on things with her living under his roof.

I think Dad overreacted a bit, but I support his right to do it. We don't know the full story of the family, but from his video it appears the daughter has an attitude problem. Myself, I would have taken the laptop away, not shot it. But, perhaps the daughter has a history of not getting the point and this over the top type of action is the only thing that will get across to her.

Well, in less than a year she can petition the court to emancipate her and she can do her own thing. She'd be responsible for her own rent and her own bills, and her dad wouldn't have a thing to complain about and neither would she. Sounds like a solution to me.

It might make sense if the chores were part of her punishment, though the dad made it sound like it's just what's expected of her all the time. I don't think the chores are unreasonable for a 15-year-old, provided she has time for studies and some free time to be with her friends.

I wouldn't have dreamed of swearing at my parents or showing that level of disrespect in their presence or out of it when I was 15. I think discipline was definitely called for. I just question the method the father used.

I stand behind this father 100%. Like I said before we are raising a generation that feels they are entitled to everything. A little hard work, stronger punishments and respect is something that needs to be instilled in this next generation.

I guess I question whether three months is appropriate as a punishment for an Internet rant. Three months is a LONG time for a teenager and at some point the punishment loses effectiveness if the kid gives up hope that she can ever dig herself out of the trouble she's gotten into. I could see three months for an incident where she put herself or someone else in physical danger or something equally serious. Mouthing off on the Internet would not reach that level of seriousness for me. For that, I'd have taken away the laptop for a month and made her earn it back and put monitoring programs on it so I'd know what she was doing online. I also think shooting the laptop is inappropriate.

You said "I also wonder what this kid did that Tommy Jordan thought was bad enough to ground her for three months. That's a pretty harsh punishment for a teenager, far longer than I would think is necessary to get a message across."

The father clearly stated that her 3 month punishment was for a similar incident. Apparently the three months was not long enough to get the point across.

And maybe if we had parents handing out stricter punishment we would have the problem with the "Give Me" and the "I Deserve" generation we are raising today!