NBC's 'Friends with Benefits' not bad; it's not good, either

So this week, this Friday, NBC premiered a new sitcom called “Friends With Benefits.” Not bad, but as you might expect from something premiering on network television on a Friday in August not as a fall season premiere, not really that good either.

Let’s go with pros and cons. First, everyone’s gorgeous. There’s five gorgeous late-20something friends who all hang out together (milk that premise, NBC), and the “friends with benefits” in this case are Ben and Sara, played by who’s that and who cares. Well, I guess Danneel Ackles was in “Friends” spinoff “Joey,” as well as “One Tree Hill” which is a really great place to hide from me – heck, I never tuned into that thing to see Elisabeth Harnois, so that’s like lead casing. And Ryan Hanson was in “Veronica Mars.”

There’s a lot of character development right away, if by character development you can mean people sleeping with each other. If the lives of these characters are to be believed, the only reason to leave your bed is to go get someone else into it -- unless it be to obsess endlessly over why no one is sleeping with you.

Complaints are leveled against losing one’s freedom if after three months of dating you aren’t moving in with her, even if these three months of dating end in her seeing someone else. Friend Aaron buys a girl a horse … well, let’s stop there. These people are living in New York. Where are you buying a horse, who’s selling it to you without a place it’s going to live – oh, wait. We’ve moved into the cons, now, where things happen in the show because they’re funny, not because anyone ever would do them.

For instance, the bartender friend, Riley, before hooking up with Aaron, here – guy seriously buys his girlfriend a horse on the eve of asking her to move in with him (so now he’d have to figure out where to put it), brings it to her door – the horse is standing there in the hallway – only to discover she’s ... dating someone else.

I'm guessing that “exclusive” would be a nice thing to nail down before asking her to move in with you. Unless you constantly want to be running into her other boyfriends using your bathroom.

Anyway, this guy, Aaron, hooks up with Riley, the bartender. When we first meet Riley, she’s coming into the bar wearing a giant bee costume (a later scene confirms it’s a bizarre sex thing). But here’s what we’re meant to believe: Riley has left her sex thing, dressed as a bee, walked the streets of New York dressed in the bee outfit -- complete with antenna bobbles -- and changes into her work clothes in full public view right next to the bar, and without so much as washing her hands, begins making people drinks.

Now, from the premise of the show, the characters can’t fall in love with each other, and they can’t fall in love with anyone else either, so every date they go on has to be objectionable in some way. We had the bee guy, of course. We had the swinger who wouldn’t pick up the check. We had the doctor filled with self-doubt, and we had the Australian musician who in five years of intercontinental dating never once let Ben go all the way with her.

And of course they have their own problems. Friend Fitz traded on political favors in the name of a civil service worker, so they were kicked to the curb.

The writing is badly hit and miss. I guess in a show called “Friends with Benefits,” I shouldn't be surprised to hear about someone being “va-jazzled” (rhinestones glued all over her "lady parts" (as the network censors allowed them to say). But in the same scene as someone coming straight from a scene as a bee furry? Why run through all their network-safe fetishes in the first episode?

That’s more attention than it needs. It’s basically pretty young people obsessing about their relationships. If that in any way appeals to you, you’ve already got like 10 of those out there on primetime network television, but ... here’s another. It’s “Friends With Benefits” at 8/7c – yes, we’re covering these topics to this level of detail at the very top of the family hour – Fridays on NBC.

"Louie"

I’m not the only one who thinks people shouldn’t say things in sitcoms just to get a laugh. Louie C.K. devoted his show Thursday to pointing out in a single scene everything that is done incorrectly when these sappy shows are built around comedians – the wife who’s way too hot for the dude, corny dialogue, undemanding audience, idiot friends, babies out of nowhere. It seems clear he had some frustrations to vent.

"In Plain Sight"

I’ve got to say that for all the complaining I did about the fourth season premiere of “In Plain Sight,” this season has worked. I mean sure, I don’t really see any reason for Mary to be pregnant but if they weren’t going to bring her father back this season it’s a reasonably cool means of adding some depth to her character – the rationale for keeping a child she’s planning to give up for adoption, and her unique take on pregnancy – by which I mean, superhuman. Old as she is and big as she gets that child has not gotten in her way once. Never mind seventh-month treks on foot through the New Mexico desert, cravings she firmly ignores, this woman has superpowers and may be magic. But the season finale aired Sunday, so me, I’m going to miss it.

"Falling Skies"

Also in the “sees improvement” camp, “Falling Skies” has been turning in much more watchable episodes of late. I was pleased to see Blair Brown, the cyborg from “Fringe” as a guest star last weekend, when the story gained a level with a new caste of aliens – tall, skinny bipeds who seem to be in charge of the Skitters, and who have apparently embedded harnesses into them, the same kind the Skitters somehow managed to attach to humans. Recently we’ve seen humans coerced into assisting the aliens, and Blair’s character was too, but just seeing someone interesting – even if she’s only really interesting on another show – really improved the viewing experience. That two-hour seaon finale aired Sunday night so, some exciting stuff.

"Outcasts"

On BBC America’s “Outcasts,” I just don’t know what’s going on any more. There’s fully grown clones of people who are passing for their doubles and why did we need to cross interstellar space for this to work? Wouldn’t this whole story have been way more interesting just staying on Earth? Because this seems like we’re crossing the universe to fight ourselves, and I know for Brits the standard metaphor for Australia as a prison colony is compelling, but this show really isn’t doing much for me, so for people who have told me it improves, I have wasted additional time with it and I have an accusation to throw back at you. So glad “Doctor Who” is starting up again soon, that’s all I can say about that.

Reality

Oh, and I actually enjoyed the season (series?) finale of Bravo’s “Platinum Hit” on Friday. What I liked best was how I watched it. I started by watching Lifetime’s “Project Runway” up until the runway show. Then I flipped across to endure the final hour of “Platinum Hit” with the runway show to look forward to. And then after Sonyae won, I flipped back to “Project Runway” for the fun part of that show. It improved both shows, oddly enough. One cool thing about this is that some “Top Chef” show or another is starting up again so I’ll be able to keep using this format.

Coming up

Beyond that, looking forward to new “Breaking Bad” and “True Blood.” Also coming up we’ve got something called “Take the Money and Run” ABC on Tuesday. Also, I think “America’s Got Talent” on NBC has whittled the asylum down to acts that are almost worth watching, so maybe that’s worth tuning in for now. After tracking down his doppelganger, Michael Westin is getting to the bottom of something on “Burn Notice” Thursday on USA. And Friday, ABC is showing two hours of something called “Karaoke Battle USA.” So … there’s that. Enjoy!