I enjoyed 'Captain America' -- just not as much as you

There’s a rumor being perpetuated that I didn’t like “Captain America.”

It started with an observation I posted as a status update on Facebook where I allowed as how I was tired of being disappointed by superhero movies.

The responses came thick and fast. “I heard it was fantastic! Rotten Tomatoes has it in the 70s!” On that site, in fact, one reviewer sniffs that hating on Captain America is un-American, and those who do should move to Canada, where there's maybe a magic Mountie thwarting evil loggers.

Whereas to be perfectly clear, I didn’t say I didn’t like it. I said I was disappointed by it. They’ve been marketing it forever, and the promos looked slick and amazing, and the early reviews were breathless. So I dared to get my hopes all the way up. And then …

Let’s step back a bit.

'Captain America' (spoilers)

Marvel Studios’ latest release, “Captain America: The First Avenger” follows Chris Evans through an amazing physical transformation on the back of an overheard conversation at the World Fair.

Evans’ character, Brooklyn-born Steve Rogers, is a heroic soul in a scrawny body. At the movies, when a self-satisfied lout is complaining about the NewsReel showing little Timmy doing his bit for the war effort by recycling scrap metal, Steve’s got to make a stand. He’s already ticked off that his best friend is volunteering to serve but all the recruiters are marking him 4F.

He decides the best way to make this stand is to confront the bully in an alley. Problem solved: the lout is outside not shouting at the screen and he isn’t bothering the other movie patrons anymore so OK, that was public-minded of him. But basically providing a different distraction for the bully besides the cartoon before the movie while letting himself get beaten up was an odd choice.

Enter Dr. Abraham Erskine. He’s developed a serum to create supersoldiers. It looks like toilet bowl cleaner and combines all the steroids in New York, and when they inject it into Rogers, he blows up like a balloon. The serum has made him bigger, stronger, taller. It’s too bad they didn’t make the compartment larger because he basically grew to fit the compartment.

Sadly, a spy snuck through into the testing chamber in the guise of a photographer no one had ever seen before -- which is exactly the sort of security you have on hand for these super secret labs.

Steve’s got his first mission! Run through the streets of Brooklyn in pursuit of the spy with the last of the serum, which, absolutely, there’s only that little bit left, so it should be stored in a highly breakable test tube.

This is an exciting chase, especially with all the broken glass and bare feet. This would’ve been an excellent opportunity for the camera to zoom in and show Steve’s skin repairing itself as he gave chase through broken windows without a scratch on him, but I guess they felt that would be boring. For now, there’s a shirtless chase scene through the streets of New York, landing up at the harbor. Steve Rogers, new supersoldier versus trained supersoldier. Of course Steve wins. The movie is "Captain America," not "Random Spy."

Sadly, the five or six remaining ounces of supersoldier serum spill out of the broken test-tube the spy stole before announcing he’s merely the first of many and chewing down on his cyanide tablet. Knowing that there’s potentially “many” of these supersoldiers, the Army does the only thing it can do. Slap some tights on him.

Yes, if the successful outcome of the multimillion dollar investment you’ve made is the only one you have – and what he wants to do more than anything in the world is stand up to bullies like the Nazis – then by all means, get that man into makeup. He’s got show business to do!

And yes, his performances are awe-inspiring, and his work is contributing to the cause – wherever he performs, contributions go way up. But he knows he can do more. This is brought home to him most clearly when he is performing a USO appearance near the front lines. The soldiers aren’t buying his schtick because they are battle-weary and not in the mood for a cheerleader – not a male one, anyway. They boo him, and call for the dancing girls. It’s the movie theater all over again, except now he’s the one being booed.

When he overhears, quite by chance, that his best friend’s platoon has been captured, he improvises a battle uniform and munitions expert Howard Stark and the beautiful Agent Peggy Carter – who has been the closest thing to a love interest he’s had besides some giggling girls at the World Fair – drop him behind enemy lines for a recovery mission which seems more than a little improvised.

On his way there his jealousy is inflamed by Stark inviting Carter to Paris for fondue.

He rescues the platoon and brings them safely back to camp, overland – his transponder failed, so he couldn’t call for an assist.

Safely back at camp a random blonde kisses him and the beautiful Agent Peggy Carter bristles. Steve asks if he shouldn’t be jealous of Stark. She says no. They share a kiss before Captain America, now in his new and improved battle armor, complete with vibranium shield, shuts down the labs of the evil Red Skull, who’d developed an army of supersoldiers. The battle scenes are elided. Mostly we see the Red Skull seething over the wreckage Steve Rogers leaves in his wake.

The final battle with the Red Skull aboard his stealth wing fighter targeting New York and Los Angeles – ends with the mystical cube the Red Skull has harnessed to fashion vaporizing weapons – loosed from its containment, burning through the bottom of the airplane and falling to the ocean floor, and Steve beating up the Red Skull and flying the plane to … Antarctica? Greenland? I don’t know for sure. It’s wherever it was discovered in the opening sequence because with Captain America’s superpowered metabolism, he’s perfectly preserved for all this time. He wakes up ready to fight – in the 20-teens. He is greeted by Nick Fury, who also looks pretty darn good for his age.

Reactions

The recent spate of Avengers superhero movies have been building up to something, which is why they don’t necessarily feel like complete stories unto themselves. They’re all quite self-consciously building to the Joss Whedon production of “The Avengers,” set for release in 2012.

This is where I’m likely to be seeing love interests of any acceptable development, dialogue with some thought behind it, plotlines that go beyond the limited videogame, task-at-hand operations – after all, eliding the destruction of the Red Skull’s military industrial complex in the movie allows them to expand on it endlessly in the videogame (if that’s where they decide to take this – I’m not a gamer and I haven’t heard anything about the game beyond the fact that it exists).

I thought the fight scenes were amazing – not the one in the alleyway so much as the ones on the plane – and when that guy was vaporized by the propeller. You could tell where they’d spent the most time and energy on the film. Other parts of it – parts where character would get developed, parts where we’d go beyond the fact that he has superpowers. These parts seemed more like hallways we passed through to get to the next big explosion.

But absolutely, I liked it. I’d have appreciated more development on Steve and Peggy. I’d have liked some greater understanding on what that Cube was meant to be, how it was being harnessed, the elements of human potential it amplified. Exposition doesn’t have to be dull. How it related to what Erskine was doing would’ve also been useful.

Too much to ask? Maybe.

I saw “Captain America” and I saw a college production of “My Fair Lady” the same day. Now, “My Fair Lady” has all sorts of plot problems and also shoehorns a go-nowhere love interest which is never developed at all. The special effects topped out at a candle flame flickering when an “H” is said properly. There were some sound problems when a mic failed and some guy’s head was in the way when the action moved downstage. But taken as a whole, I’ve got to say I found the play to be more entertaining. If nothing else, they made better use of their 3-D.

Coming up

I got to see the season four premiere of “Breaking Bad” this week but I need more time with that before I talk about it. Gus is one deep, dark, mysterious puzzle. I got myself up to speed on Season 4 of “True Blood” on HBO this weekend and it looks like they’re raising a powerful, 400-year-old witch, and Jason Stackhouse might be a shifter, but whatever’s going on he sure wasn’t looking too good, not after his ordeal in Hotshot with the houseful of auntie-mommies and uncle-daddies and brother-and-sister-cousins. Hoo-wee it’s been a hot time on the bayou, that’s for sure.

Coming up, Ed Asner’s playing Henry Winkler’s dad in “Royal Pains,” which is interesting. Also, we got some nice backstory on Augie on “Covert Affairs” this week, but I think I’m going to go back to ignoring it. Speaking of USA, I saw where “Psych” isn’t coming back until October, which is heartbreaking, but I’ve never wanted to fast-forward through summer more. Meh, I’ll survive. I’m showing a new season of “Project Runway” starting Thursday night on Lifetime, which will almost certainly be an improvement on what I’ve been seeing on Bravo’s “Platinum Hit” lately. Have a great week.