Summer schedule off to a strong start

Lots to talk about this week and I’m not even going into a lot of detail on “Necessary Roughness” although I loved, loved, loved it.

That is, it’s a great new show on USA starring Callie Thorne of “Rescue Me” – which FX said is starting its final season later this month so yay for that as well. "Necessary Roughness" has a couple of issues but that’s not important right now. The important thing is that “Necessary Roughness” and oh, hey, what the heck, “Royal Pains” and “Burn Notice” are back on USA so until “Psych” returns, that’ll do plenty well for now.

One of the shows my friend Kirk and I made fun of during that stream-of-consciousness commentary on “White Collar” a few weeks ago was the USA production of “Suits.”

It sounded like the most bizarre idea, that Harvey, this up-and-coming lawyer and Harvard grad, is looking for a junior partner and hires Mike, a not-remotely-qualified, not-graduate of Harvard (or anywhere) not-lawyer who hasn’t passed the bar but otherwise has a sort of photographic memory and had really wanted to be a lawyer but because he was caught cheating he’d gotten kicked out of Harvard and now can’t go anywhere else because …

OK, this made no sense, along with his best friendship with a ne’er-do-well who got him caught up in some sort of drug bust, and there’s this whole thing where he’s got the drugs in his briefcase and he’s being drug-tested and I suppose I was supposed to find that uproariously funny or tragically suspenseful but I didn’t so … that’s probably my fault. I guess I’m meant to relate somehow because I’m a viewer of the USA network but this – this sentence right here – this is how I’m trying to illustrate how meandering and pointless this episode was.

Harvey hires Mike, Mike has to buy a suit, and that goes nowhere, and his flirting with apparently the best paralegal in the world likewise goes nowhere, and he’s dragged into subplots from I think it was “Class Action” from the 1980s and ...

This is why “Damages” should be on FX, people. We wouldn’t need to troll USA for our basic cable legal dramas. “Damages” ultimately has almost nothing to do with the practice of law – it’s more a Machivellian drama with Glenn Close running around in great shoes.

But even at its worst it is way more interesting than, well, this. Watching a bunch of rich smug people swanning about being rich and smug while playing with the lives of the poor and powerless really isn’t all that appealing to me – although it was vaguely satisfying when they managed to settle in the plaintiff's favor.

The problem was, no one was really invested in her problem and her terrible life was merely a playing field for a bunch of overblown egos. When the elephant battles the rhinoceros it is the grass that suffers, and I’d almost rather watch the grass grow. “Suits” airs at 10/9c Thursdays on USA.

"The Killing"

“The Killing” on AMC closed its first season a couple weeks ago and generally I disapprove.

They did that thing where it’s the last person you suspect – it looks like it was the city council guy – except I’d suspected it was him from the first episode and he was doing everything to make it look like someone was framing him when he’d done it all along. Except I hated that specifically because I was given no real reason to suspect him, beyond he was a person in the story.

And also psychologically, human frailties are one thing, but in the middle of a campaign you assume absolutely everything you do is going to hit the media -- especially the bad stuff -- so my guess is you’d take a break with the snuff fantasies and the outright murder of underage lower-middle-class sex workers.

And given narco cop Stephen’s history with evidence tampering I wouldn’t trust him if he’d brought in Orpheus himself screaming to the rooftops of how he was totally guilty. So, presented with this smoking-gun photo with its perfect timestamp, I would probably have called the traffic people and confirmed its authenticity before confronting Richmond at a press conference -- and so would her supervisor. They’d been burned badly before.

So Sarah’s very nearly out of there, gone for good -- and had I been her I’d have put Seattle in my rearview so long ago -- she’s on the plane and she gets the message confirming that their key piece of evidence has been falsified, such that would be really easy for the defense to discover through a simple chain of custody inquiry.

Well, she’s an eye-witness to the activity in Orpheus’ inbox, and she can present testimony of Rosie’s involvement with Beau Soliel and her account activity through the casino ATM cameras. She can present the evidence from the field behind the gas station just up the road from where the body was found.

And incidentally, she can present all of this after like 12 days’ investigation, hampered by a tweakout, unethical partner while trying to raise a teenage son as a single mom because she’s vaguely magical. All the same, were I to be her, I would leave Seattle to stew in its own ridiculousness and fly, fly, fly away.

"Men of a Certain Age"

Speaking of season finales, “Men of a Certain Age” is already taking a bow for its third season, leaving me to say, “huh?” Unlike past seasons, this season hasn’t carried much of any clear development for the characters.

Beyond Terry’s devastation over turning 50 and deciding to invite his girlfriend to move in with him (who earlier this season had kicked him to the curb), Joe has just been futzing back and forth between his gambling addiction and his pro golf tour, and Owen has both been totally recommitted to running the business and all but set fire to it and run away screaming.

Also, I think more than one survivor of colon cancer and chemo treatments would raise a hairfree eyebrow at Manny, who is roughly half Joe’s size to begin with, showing up at the shop and beating the bejabbers out of him. Most would probably be pleased to muster the energy to come in, yell at him and maybe throw up on him.

The storylines this season just did not carry the interest or complexity of past seasons. It certainly didn’t seem to be as long as past seasons and I hope it’s just a transition to something more interesting down the road. The third season finale of “Men of a Certain Age” airs Wednesday at 10/9c on TNT. It carries an MA rating but doesn’t get a lot of use out of it.

"True Blood"

“True Blood” premiered last week on HBO and I didn’t realize how much I was missing it until I was watching it and oh my word aren’t Southern vampires simply the most charming things? Sookie’s lost year in fairyland make me think that Charlaine Harris simply doesn’t like Sookie Stackhouse one bit, the ordeals she puts that girl through. Also, it was fun to get caught up to speed with what everyone else has been up to all this time Sookie’s been away. “True Blood” is another one of these with the itty bitty little seasons while they’re on so I’m going to enjoy the heck out of it while I can.

"Torchwood"

Speaking of premium programming, I’m calling foul on “Torchwood” premiering on the Starz network, mostly for one because I don’t get the Starz network, and two I’m already paying extra for the BBC America which by all rights is where “Torchwood” ought to be airing here in the U.S. Now, I’m in no way advocating anything mischievous, I’m just saying that maybe, just probably, the show will soon enough air legally in the U.S. in a place where I can see it without having to spend any additional money for it, and if it does, that would make me happy. Until then, I’m not enabling their decision to air it on barely expanded basic cable. If you want to track it down yourself it premieres later this week on Starz.

"Marie Antoinette"

They’re also showing “Marie Antoinette” on Sundance, and I’m remembering the promos for this made it sound like this totally modern take on life in pre-Revolutionary France, imbuing these historical figures with flesh and blood passion and humanity. As it turns out, it’s more like Marie Antoinette and her teen girl posse took refuge in the primetime lineup on the CW playing dressup. Mostly it’s boring as all get out. Instead, I’d recommend tracking down “Dangerous Liaisons” from the ‘80s with Glenn Close and John Malkovich.

"Outcasts"

Speaking of boring, oh my God, I tried watching another episode of “Outcasts” this week and it was so desperately dull. These people survive five years crossing interstellar space but don’t know how to behave in a sandstorm or whatever the hell a “whiteout” is meant to be. We have wind on Earth. When we have wind on Earth we go inside. These idiots choose that moment to run across the moors.

I believe I’m meant to gain respect the fragility of human life on the very farpoint outposts of human society. What I gain is a fresh appreciation for Darwin. Apparently they all went nuts and killed all their children or something as well and I’d be shocked to learn that in five years crossing space the radiation exposure hadn’t left them all sterile anyway. Frankly they’re fools unto themselves to begin with. If they can’t figure out to come inside from a massive sandstorm they’re not worth any more of my attention.

P.S. – A note: A big sandstorm can’t be the most interesting thing that happens in the episode. There was actually a wedding between two characters I hadn’t come to give anything like a rip about (and they certainly weren’t making it any easier), and the storm was still way more interesting than all of them. “Outcasts” airs Saturdays on BBC America instead of the new season of “Torchwood” and if anyone would care to explain that to me you are welcome to try.

"Leverage"

“Leverage” got its fourth season off to an OK start with a couple realities that stand out maybe a bit more in this part of the world. The team is halfway up a mountain in Alaska and despite the terrible conditions everyone is told to anticipate no one seems too horribly put out by it. There’s no evidence of wind or extreme conditions, everyone’s climbing around on the mountain like they’re crossing a parking lot in December. The writers included base camp tents and such but a consultant or two wouldn’t have been out of place on this one. “Leverage” airs new episodes at 9/8c Sundays on TNT.

"The Nine Lives of Chloe King"

“The Nine Lives of Chloe King” continues a bit uneven. Her mom likes Brian but takes an instant dislike to Alek. When Chloe visits Jasmine’s apartment and her mom learns Alek lives there too she assumes Chloe has lied to her (about what?), instead of the first thing I thought of which was that Alek and Jasmine are brother and sister. Jasmine’s mom Valentina is the local regent for the Mai so I’d have assumed we’d have learned, well, more about them by now.

Also, if ever a show needed a geek consult this one is it. Someone’s got to be there in the writer’s room pointing out that if Chloe can hear what’s playing on an iPod with the earbuds three feet away, she can hear her mom coming up the stairs before she bursts in on her and Alek fully clothed and doing … absolutely nothing at all, so totally she should completely freak out. Seriously, if you guys can get them, bring Jane Espensen or Mere Smith or David Fury or his very Joss-ness himself. You’ve got the basis for something cool here. It shouldn’t get bogged down in its own awkwardness. “The Nine Lives of Chloe King” airs new episodes Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC Family.

"Burn Notice"

“Burn Notice” also got off to a … well, it started its fifth season recently but between the two-hour flashback episode a while back that for as little as it contributed to character development seemed more like a contractual fulfillment of some sort, and Michael’s completely new life as a for-real back-to-work spy now, maybe it’s time to reassess this show.

It’s certainly time to order a new opening sequence, in that Fiona’s not a “trigger-happy ex-girlfriend,” Jesse seems to be still be hanging around and should probably be added now in that he's the only burned spy in evidence, along with there’s this new CIA agency contact Michael's got now and oh yeah, Michael Westen’s not burned anymore.

The opening sequence and the title of the show itself no longer has anything to do with the actual show – like “Cougar Town.” Maybe someone could work on that. “Burn Notice” or “Yay I’m a Spy Again” airs new episodes at 9/8c Thursdays on USA.

"Wilfred"

Finally, “Wilfred” premiered alongside the second season of “Louie” on FX, and it’s all I can do to avoid saying “From the network that brought you ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.’ ” So why fight it? “From the network that brought you ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,’” it’s a man dressed as a dog.

We’ve got Elijah Wood bringing way too much star power to Ryan, a vaguely wet, pot-smoking romantic who sees his neighbor Jenna’s dog as a man in a dog suit. I’m supposed to be rooting for him but I’m not. Jenna’s boyfriend is a jerk but I don’t care. I don’t care if he makes her happy or he doesn't and I don’t care if Ryan swoops in and rescues her. Honestly I think Ryan’s got some issues as well. I do have some sympathy for Ryan and for Wilfred, played with measured enthusiasm by Jason Gann, but I don’t like or relate much to any of these people, really.

Also, I have a complaint. I buy Gann as Wilfred. I bought him anthropomorphising dog behaviors and having amusing conversations with Ryan. So I don’t really understand Wilfred’s use of an axe on Ryan’s fence, nor his taking a photo of two topless sunbathers. He’s a dog, a for real dog, that’s the world’s perception of him. Just Ryan sees the personality inside, that’s who he’s interacting with. So when Wilfred is chopping through a fence with an axe, I get why that’s so hilariously funny but, um … what exactly is happening out here in consensus reality?

“Wilfred” airs new episodes Thursdays at 10/9c on FX.