No further reason to watch 'The Office'

I have a confession to make. I’ve never really liked Steve Carell as Michael Scott.

I don’t know what it is. I loved him on “The Daily Show,” I thought he was a scream in “Date Night,” and I sort of mostly liked him in “Get Smart,” although there were things about that that bugged me. In "The Office," I had to constantly deal with the fact that we were seeing him and not Ricky Gervais, for example. No, I wasn’t a fan of the UK version, it’s just the reality I was born into.

But as Michael Scott in “The Office,” it wasn’t his character, really, although that was part of it -- no person capable of dressing himself or remembering to breathe in and out … OK, I know he’s the everyboss, and everyone has a boss who’s that clueless at one point or another, but at some point he’d be fired, he’d be arrested, he’d be … my God, he started a competing paper company in a storage closet in the same building.

And at some point, haven’t they filmed whatever documentary they’re filming? Between the confessionals and the follow shots, whatever investigation is being conducted into Dunder-Mifflin has got to either have been conducted or they’d have given up by now.

And Jan was such a disaster and Holly just seemed … wow, how did that manage to work? I know Holly is pretty much the female version of Michael but ... wow. The whirlwind romance, the storied breakup, the heartbreak and ... how oblivious was she in all of that, too?

Although I was supposed to have some sort of opinion on his proposal. It was ... that was interesting, having everyone in “The Office” propose to her and then for Michael to ... I’ve never seen that before, so that was decidedly new and different. And for the thousand candles to set off the sprinkler system. As for writing him out to Colorado, why not just have Dwight drop him from the roof?

Either way, it’s comforting to know having seen last week’s episode that I don’t need to bother with “The Office” ever again.

Much as I dislike Steve Carell as Michael Scott -- and I don’t know why, he plays the part perfectly -- I can’t believe Dunder-Mifflin has selected someone just as bad to take over. Will Ferrell as DeAngelo Vickers? Is Dunder-Mifflin a paper company? Or is it a situation comedy?

Let’s start with that name. Seriously, did they let Ferrell come up with the name himself? Some jerk who orders an afternoon shave in his office? No wait, back up, to where neither of them realize they’re already talking to the guy they’re meeting for like half an hour? Who takes an instant dislike to Jim and Pam and who just tortures Andy Bernard? There’s a CAMERA there! What the heck has he done to Darryl? Get out of that poor man’s head! And that whole “Answer the phone without your name” thing to Erin. What the hell is that?

No, this is just further proof for an old saying I’m working like mad to get into the general vocabulary, which is: “Will Ferrell isn’t as funny as you think he is, and nothing in the world is as funny as Will Ferrell thinks Will Ferrell is.”

The Paul Reiser Show

Besides, I’ve already got something new to watch Thursday nights on NBC and it’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” starring Paul Reiser.

See, Larry David is funny, but Larry David is HBO funny. If we were watching the Larry David show on NBC some parts would just be one long censor beep.

Paul Reiser is NBC funny and that’s exactly the right speed. "The Paul Reiser Show" is a good one. More about him later.

Fringe

First, “Fringe” was not up to snuff this week. I didn’t necessarily mind everyone tripping on LSD to enter Olivia’s brain but I didn’t really enjoy the anime versions of everyone. They didn’t look right anyway. I suppose it’s a small comfort they weren’t claymation. I was also a little bummed by how depressing it was inside Olivia’s mind. I know she’s not but I wish she were a bit happier, carrying premonitions of her own death around with her. Eww.

Doctor Who

“Doctor Who” is starting up next weekend, and that’s pretty exciting. I understand he’s coming to America in the coming season, so that’s a nice Spinal Tap vibe to look forward to.

Cougar Town

Also, “Cougar Town” is airing not once, but twice next week. Yes, ABC clearly has some giant dartboard and as they randomly throw darts at it they’ll air whatever comedies they land on, with the exception of “The Middle” and “Better With You” because those are just so funny, and “Modern Family” because people actually watch that one.

Scratch that, other people watch that one. In my opinion it’s no better than "America’s Funniest Home Videos," and again, who is making this documentary? Who? For what purpose? These people are insipid. That show and like “Workaholics” on Comedy Central are definitely two shows where if you catch the promo you’ve pretty much seen the episode.

Happy Endings

Anyway, ABC’s new one, “Happy Endings,” was actually pretty good, and I’ll have more to say about that one next week, too. But yeah, “Cougar Town.” “Cougar Town” will be airing Monday night and again on Wednesday night. TV by the Numbers reported it has been picked up for a third season but I think I’d have more hope regarding that if they quit preempting it for practically everything else. Wackadoo. Bring back Courtney Cox and the bodacious Busy Phillips!

Coming up

Well, there’s some sort of USA “Burn Notice” special this weekend that I’m certain will encore throughout the week. “The Chicago Code” and “The Event” both fight with my DVR over “Cougar Town” and it’s beginning to occur to me I don’t really want to watch either of them.

We’ve got Jamie Oliver trying to make Los Angeles eat healthier when it seems pretty clear that it’s the Midwest that needs the attention. “Glee” and “Raising Hope” are new so that seems like it will be fun. IFC is showing “Hostel” at 8/7c on Tuesday so you may want to exercise a little more discretion around that channel that night since that’s just nasty.

“Happy Endings” is running back-to-back Wednesday night at 10/9c which I’m not certain that isn’t an excellent way for it to wear out its welcome. Again, more on that one later. And “30 Rock” has a special one-hour installment, I don’t know what that’s about, that’s 10/9c Thursday on NBC.

NBC is also showing new episodes of “Friday Night Lights” even though I’d heard it was canceled so I don’t know what’s going on with that either, that’s at 8/7c Friday, and there’s a new “Fringe” this week as well, so yay, that’s at 9/8c Friday on FOX.