'Housewives' might be a little too desperate

“Desperate Housewives” isn’t especially more interesting than any of the other housewives shows on Bravo.

Oh, they tend to be more attractive. And they have slightly more compelling narratives. But I think we can trace the jump-the-shark moment for this series – no, not the tornado that destroyed some of their homes. Not the leap forward in time by five years so they could get rid of all of those horrible Scavo children. And not the fire that burned down Susan’s house and we had to deal with all that icky ex-sex with Karl. And not the plane that crashed into the Wisteria Lane community Christmas display.

No, this show donned its leather jacket and slapped on its water skis when it decided that any of us cared any more what was going on with Paul Young.

Paul Young could’ve stayed in jail. He could’ve died there. It would’ve been fine. I mean, we knew he was guilty. Even if he hadn’t killed Felicia, the crime he was framed and jailed for, we knew he’d killed Martha Huber. This was justice, and it was just fine.

The reality of his presence back on the lane with seemingly infinite resources meant we needed to deal not only with him, but with Felicia, with Felicia’s flaky daughter Beth, and not to mention Zach Young popping back up from wherever he’d disappeared to. We had to deal with him trying to open a halfway house for convicted criminals and sex offenders in a school zone packed full of kids. We had to deal with a full-fledged riot on Wisteria Lane that stomped Susan’s kidney and all the drab storylines that’s generated.

And not that I think there needs to be something new all the time – just from the things I mentioned up there this neighborhood has had more than its fair share of tsuris, scandal and shakeup – but the storylines lately – Gaby goes to therapy, Bree breaks up with her cougar cub, Susan gets sick and collapses, Renee is lonely, Bob and Lee have adopted a child and Lynette’s kids are moving out – I get that these storylines have an impact beyond themselves, but they’re all a little … tame, given the history of this place.

I know, it’s a Catch-22. If you punch up the excitement for entertainment value it’s not remotely believeable, and if it’s too believeable it’s too boring. But let me throw this out as a reminder. When we met these ladies, Gaby was seeking relief from her unhappy marriage in an affair with her underaged gardener. Yes, the repercussions of this were scandalous and rocked the lane but at the center of it all was nothing more than ordinary human emotion.

Fast forward to this season, Susan’s desperate financial situation led her to create internet pornography. In terms of sheer relatability, I see maybe dipping into the till at the Safeway, making off with some overripe cantaloupes, perhaps, but the naughty maid service was just too outrageous. And Renee giving Lynette’s child to a server, I mean what the hell?

Also, I’ve got to call cowplop on a storyline where Renee dragged Susan to lunch at an exclusive clusive place she could never get into. Begin here: There is no restaurant in driving distance of Wisteria Lane at which a patient on dialysis would be given preferential treatment over, oh, say, the loaded ex-wife of a professional ball player. Oh! Which Renee already is!

ABC has shaken up its Sunday schedule this weekend, airing new episodes of “Shark Tank” and “Detroit 1-8-7” after an all new “Secret Millionaire,” but everything seems to be back to normal next week so I’ve got no idea what it is they’re up to over there, but it looked like there’d be new episodes of “Desperate Housewives” in a few weeks. I just honestly can’t say any more whether they’re actually worth it.

'Criminal Minds'

As for “Criminal Minds,” I’m not sure I understand what happened. I think Agent Emily Prentiss is still alive, but I don’t know if her team knows that, or is even meant to know that. But in the following episode of “Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior,” Penelope Garcia goes from being visibly broken up at Emily’s possibly fake funeral to being as chipper as if one of her team members from her home office hadn’t just been killed, so it makes me wonder about continuity.

Even so, the Prentiss story arc was what happened to J.J. before she left – a case that involved her personally and deeply for multiple episodes and then ran her into a wall. Penelope took a lot longer to get over J.J.’s absence, that’s for sure.

Still, they’re planning fresh episodes week after next so that wasn’t a season finale. It was pretty intense but so many moving parts -- it’s insane that a case could so closely involve one of their own and no one on the team is aware of it, that they actually have to profile her biting her nails and her intonation in a casually overheard phonecall in order to figure out she’s even involved. It was compelling but not really credible.

Slightly better was the school bombing episode on “Suspect Behavior” this past week. The profile was quick and dirty and managed to overturn the right rocks. It’s just in the case of this guy, there were too many warning signs and an entire church full of evangelicals which means people who really get into each others’ business, especially in the wake of the loss of a wife. People are always feeling called upon with burdens placed on their hearts to bring food and check in on those poor sweet boys and yeah, see, this guy wouldn’t have a moment’s peace to make a bomb, let alone three.

And in all reality, despite what I think was a noble effort to remind people in this rather histrionic moment in American history that fundamentalist Christians commit violence in the name of religion as well – Janeane Garofalo couldn’t have said “McVeigh” more or louder with any legitimacy – this wasn’t one of those instances. A religious man suffering that kind of loss would be even less likely to inflict it on his neighbors. Or to belong to a mainstream church of any sort. A Last Generation adherent would probably be more of a loner and have a houseful of tracts. It’s more frightening the way they did it, but not especially likely.

Coming up

Gotta get this one to bed early, but I need to mention the season -- probably series -- finale of “V.” Wait, no I don’t. It was annoying. Instead, I want to talk about how great “Bob’s Burgers” has been. Oh, hell, I’ll do that some other time. This week’s exploration of the arts was wonderful, and generally I didn’t give this show enough of a chance first time through. I’ve been picking it up recently and laughing hysterically. Not all the time, but parts of it are legitimately funny. Oh, and I liked “Bones” this past week, too, but the Scotch tape generator seemed a little too “Bill Nye the Science Guy” to me. The most significant part of saving the day was getting that cellphone working and linking up hundreds of pounds of potatoes … again, a little too science fair, but let’s at least give them points for cleverness. Nice one, especially since it sounds like “Bones” is taking a bit of a break for a while, in part so that FOX can exploit the five- or six-year-old phenomena of flash mobs and probably take credit for it here in a couple of weeks.

Coming up this week, “Grey’s Anatomy” has a new episode ramping up to its musical episode, which sounds amazing, that’s 9/8c Thursday night.

On Tuesday there’s a new reality show where Marcel, that “Top Chef” contestant with the Whirl-a-Whip hairdo, teaches people how to make super-complicated things in the premiere of “Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen,” that’s at 10/9c on Syfy, more on that later.

Monday night NBC has a fresh lineup, some of which looks entertaining, with all new episodes of “Chuck,” “The Event” and “Harry’s Law.” Maybe soon we’ll find out what’s in that storage closet.

The tension is ramping up on “Justified,” where the ex Mrs. Raylan Givens has stolen a $100 bill from the evidence lock-up at the U.S. Marshall’s service and we go well past “Lucy, you’ve got some splainin’ to do” when it is discovered, that’s Wednesday at 10/9c on FX. The boxing drama “Lights Out” 10/9c Tuesdays on FX has been pretty consistently amazing as well. “Fairly Legal” has not, really, but if you want to watch that it’s at 10/9c Thursdays on USA.

What has been pretty amazing in the world of cable dramas is “Being Human” on BBC America. The third season of that show has blown the first two out of the water and I personally can’t wait for Saturday nights at 10/9c for new episodes of that supernatural drama.

Beyond that, please visit and share a comment at “TV is the New Reading” on iTunes, happy viewing and enjoy!