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An invitation to healing

Recently, while traveling out of state, I had a friendly conversation with a young woman I happened to meet. I shared with her that I work at a pregnancy help center, and that we were starting a group study for women who had experienced emotional trauma after a past abortion. She then shared with me that she had two abortions nearly 20 years ago and that they had never bothered her.

Psychotherapist Theresa Burke, Ph.D, in her book, “Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion” reveals how social taboos stifle discussion of abortion-related feelings. I shared with my new friend how reading this book and working at Dakota Hope had opened my eyes to the evidence of emotional pain that many women and men experience after an abortion. Often the pain is repressed and may be acted out through self-destructive behavior, broken relationships, obsessions, eating disorders, substance abuse, parenting difficulties, and other emotional or behavioral problems.

My new friend was very interested in this information and said she had never heard this talked about before. She entered the title and author of the book in her phone so she could find the book herself.

Based on what she shared about her life, and her keen interest in the book, I could not help but wonder if her abortions may indeed have had a negative effect on her life. In the “Forbidden Grief” book, Dr. Burke gives many examples of how her clients often did not relate their problems to unresolved abortion issues. However, when the walls of silence were knocked down and her clients were given permission to face and resolve their feelings of loss, ambivalence, guilt, or grief about their abortion, their lives improved dramatically.

It is time to get past the political debate and discover how to help ourselves and our loved ones take steps toward healing. Each year more than 100 women from this seven county region have an abortion. Just counting the last 30 years, there could be several thousand women and men in our community who feel isolated and struggle with trauma, depression, grief, pain or other problems due to their past abortion.

This is an invitation to seek healing. It takes courage and faith, but the burden can be lifted. There is a bright future for you, full of joy and happiness. The Discover Peace program offered by Dakota Hope Clinic starts soon and is one avenue to find healing through prayer, self-examination, and the use of Scripture in a compassionate and supportive environment.

For more information, call 852-4675 or text 978-705-3421. All services are 100 percent free and confidential.

Nadia Smetana, RN, BSN, is clinic director at Dakota Hope Clinic in Minot.

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