More questions than answers
How are you doing at making healthy choices in life? Have you made the connection between your choices and your future? Have you considered how your choices affect other people and the results of your life? Are you consistently making healthy, life-giving, hope-producing choices?
Let’s take our discussion to your internal health. What internal emotions, beliefs or attitudes are leading you to make unhealthy choices? What about your healthy choices and behaviors? Is it possible to develop healthy behaviors out of unhealthy emotions? Is it possible to be a hard-worker out of insecurity; you have built your image for years on your work ethic and should you fail to produce you are afraid you will face rejection? Is it possible to discipline your children out of pride or selfishness; you want your kids to behave in front of family and friends so that other people don’t know your family isn’t perfect or to make your life less difficult? Is it possible that out of the fear of abandonment you are clinging to unhealthy relationships or squeezing the life out of people you love and care about?
How often do you take a personal evaluation of your internal emotional health? Who helps you with that? Do you have any settings where you are encouraged to reflect on your internal health?
As I have journeyed through the recent events of my life and reflected on my observations and interactions with my family and friends, these are the types of questions that are going through my mind. Currently, my heart is deeply troubled over what I have seen and experienced. I don’t have time or column space to share specifics, nor do I have answers that can be described in 500 words or less!
I face a “double whammy” in life. I am an engineer and my analytical, unemotional approach can annoy people. Shoot, I annoy myself sometimes! I see problems, even when I don’t want to, and my response is to immediately look for and develop solutions; not fluffy marketing lingo or sappy “let’s just be friends,” but real-world plausible, probable solutions. And I am a pastor. My heart, no matter how hard I may try, hurts for people. I empathize with people. I haven’t been sleeping well. I toss and turn and stare into the ceiling, wrestling with and dreaming about what our lives, families, marriages and churches can be and do.
I know that the answers will require faith; not blind faith, but legitimate educated faith; but faith nonetheless. I know we are spiritual beings and we are created in the image of a higher, creative power; so developing a friendship with God is essential. I know the Holy Spirit is real and he leads us into truth, hope and healing when our hearts seek him. I know we all have wounds and solutions will not come solely from turning inward and keeping control or from controlling others. I know we must acknowledge that we are broken, without the solution and turn our hearts to our heavenly father. That’s what I am going to do today. I invite you to do the same.
Hauser is founding and senior pastor, Prairie Heights of Fargo Moorhead. Email firstname.lastname@example.org.